just me!!

just me!!
PF Changs!! yummy!!

Saturday, July 31, 2010

i just really miss him....

let me just start by saying, i don't want this to be a sappy, country love song type of post; however, i'm afraid that's what it will turn into! so, just bare with me. i'm not even a fraction of the way thru this whole ordeal with my husband being gone, and it seems like he's been gone for a whole year instead of the 2 weeks in reality. i can see myself filling up any spare moment with probably meaningless tasks just so i don't get a chance to sit down and think about him.

5 1/2 years ago, Jesus sent a guy across my path and i never have been the same. I've been stretched as a person, love has been put thru the fire, and trust has never been stronger with anyone else in the world. He keeps me on my toes, puts me in my place when needed, loves me unconditionally, takes pride in my accomplishments, encourages me to see Christ thru a child's eyes, and, what else can i say? He's my best friend, my love, my heart, my hope. and now he is thousands of miles away. i don't trust anyone like i trust Jay. i have so many things i can't wait to share with him when does finally return. i look at my kids and just see him in their faces.

i'm so proud to be with someone like jay. if any of you knew the kind of person i was before i met him...then you can understand why I am proud to be with HIM. i was throwing my life away left and right, so for me to end up with jay can only be described in 1 word...Mercy. jason was my "saving grace", if you will. God sent him to bring me out of the pit i had dug for myself. Now, i hope the title of this post makes sense. it's more than just "oh yeah, my husband is away and it's hard raising 3 kids by myself"....oddly enough, i can get over that...what's hard is having the other half of me gone....my best friend, my love, my life, my hope.

i love you jay...come home safely! we are ok here...but we ARE not whole without you!

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