i'm exhausted! i've been up since 6 a.m!!! i know!! it's saturday!! what the heck! lol...i had to finish a graduation cake this morning! it turned out amazing and oh you know me...i went all the way to deliver the cake and se it up, then looked around and noticed i forgot my camera at home!! again...what the heck! o-well...it looked really cute! i was very pleased with it! (so were the clients and that is the ultimate goal!)
after that my husband came home from working...need i say it again?...what the heck! working on a saturday! lol...it's ok, we made a little extra cash and we all know how nice that is! we all hopped in the pool and before long, isaac, our 4 year old, decides to start letting daddy throw him in the water!! i'm so proud of him! what joy it is to see your kids conquer their fears! now, he has never been afraid of water, in fact, just the opposite! He is our little water bug, but he does have a hesitation when it comes to just jumping off the side and into the water with no one there to catch him. what a brave little guy we have!
it really just encourages me to keep pushing myself to conquer my own fears and hesitations. just a little faith and determination, i can achieve some of the things that i really want to do with my life! of course it's not gonna be easy. it wasn't easy for isaac to just flat out trust that he could jump in and swim to the stairs himself! of course, he also had to trust that jay would save him if for some reason he didn't make it to the side! but he tried, and that is what counts, right? i mean, he would have never known what he was capable of unless he threw caution to the wind and jumped off the edge! i'm still so proud of him! WAY TO GO ISAAC!
challenge for the day: grab your dream and run with it! even if you have a simple dream/goal of losing weight, or eating healthier, or spending more time with family, or doing 100% at work, or to just wake up on time and NOT press the snooze button 5 times! hah:) we all know we've done that! whatever your "goal"/"dream" is...just....JUMP!!!
just me!!
PF Changs!! yummy!!
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
One Tree Hill...
ok, i'm totally OBSESSED with OTH!! i know, i know...i'm probably too old to be, but i just can't help myself! i'm really into it. i even watch the reruns...seriously, like, everyday!! Haha...and i've already seen every episode. but it's ok, i'm not off the deep end or anything, but definitely a HUGE fan! anyways, i have been decorating all day! i'm doing a graduation cake and cupcakes that's due tomorrow morning. while the kids are napping, i'll normally turn on OTH and go about my business. that was my routine yet again today! while i was semi-engrossed in the episode where Jami turns 5...AGAIN , i realized that essentially, this show is telling the story of 7 teens who go thru high school together and then after college they reunite back home in Tree Hill. so, realistically, these 7 "teens" are now around the age of 22. let me give you a quick run down...Lucas is a successful author, Peyton owns a record label and has a successful artist making money, Brooke is filthy rich with her own clothing line, Haley is a singer/songwriter and nathan is an aspiring basketball player who has made tons of money with his career before a very dramatic back injury that took him out of the game. they have a son, Jami, and a huge house with a pool and everything else you can imagine. Skills is a ball coach with lucas and Mouth is an anchorman. does anyone else see what's wrong with this picture?? i was thinking today, like...NONE of these "supposed" 22 year olds are simple, everyday people. A normal 22 year old DOES NOT have money like that! is anyone getting my drift yet?? while i LOVE the show and remain a devoted fan, i still can't help but think that it's shows like this one(amongst every OTHER show on the CW) that give kids these days a skewed vision of what growing up really is like. 22 year olds should NOT be living in mansions and driving the MOST expensive cars and have their "dream" job. now, if you happen to be young and rich and all, then kuddos to you. I have a feeling you might have been born into that lifestyle instead of gaining all of your fortune in 4 short years of college! if not, then still, kuddos to you! however, i still think that these shows even affect the way i view my life. i'm 27 and i DO NOT have hardly any money in the bank, i am living with my parents cuz my husband lost his job, we only have 1 car, 3 kids, and NO designer clothes. My husband doesn't have his "dream" job and our kids don't have all the new and trendy toys like a lot of other kids. So what does this make me??? a failure? hmm...if i go by the standard of most of the citcoms and tv series that are geared for the teens these days, then YES, i'd be considered a failure.
how utterly RIDICULOUS! I have a husband who LOVES me, 3 kids who just make my world a spin happily 'round and 'round, a dependable car to get me from point A to point B, a supportive family who will take me in when needed, food to fill all of our tummies (and more unfortunately!), clothes to make us look decent and in style(for the most part. i'd still love to have some nice designer jewelry and shoes and all!), and we all are very healthy people! why should i even second guess myself? yes, i desire to have more money so we can provide better for our kids, but i'll tell you what; my kids laugh and we play games and read books and have FUN being with each other! money can't buy that kind of happiness! i'm not stupid, money can buy a LOT of things...it can definitely make life easier in some ways, but it complicates life in many other areas.
my point is, i don't think these shows are "wrong"; however, if you have a problem with being satisfied and content, then maybe some of us should shut OFF the tv and spend more time sharing our life with the people or things that make us happy! tv is NOT real. even reality tv is NOT reality!! everythinig is staged and scripted and FAKE!! i think it's risky to have our kids watch these shows unless we as parents follow up with them and help them understand that those people are PAID to play a part. that's it! it's NOT how life really is. until we as parents filter what are kids are watching, who are kids are hanging out with, where are kids are going, and when they will be home, this next generation will be the ruin of america. ALL takers and NO givers! a country can't last long with that mentality. our country wasn't founded on that kind of mentality! Our country would not have been built at all had it not been for men and women who pioneered through thick and thin to get to a land where they could live freely. That required hard work from EVERYONE! i don't know how long this country will last when people would rather be famous than be a good mom or dad, or just a decent human being.
look around you right now. i guarantee you can find 5 people or things that bring you happiness. i'm not talking superficial here. i mean legitimate happiness. Christ and my salvation is number 1! jason, my husband is number 2! my kids are number 3! my church is number 4! and the ocean is number 5!! legitimate happiness. so stop thinking you are a failure. who cares what the world says!! you were made in the image of Christ! you were bought with a price and you are loved more than you could EVER IMAGINE!
so, enjoy all of the shows that you like! i still watch OTH! but i realize it's fake! i realize that my life is real and i'd never trade it for the world!
how utterly RIDICULOUS! I have a husband who LOVES me, 3 kids who just make my world a spin happily 'round and 'round, a dependable car to get me from point A to point B, a supportive family who will take me in when needed, food to fill all of our tummies (and more unfortunately!), clothes to make us look decent and in style(for the most part. i'd still love to have some nice designer jewelry and shoes and all!), and we all are very healthy people! why should i even second guess myself? yes, i desire to have more money so we can provide better for our kids, but i'll tell you what; my kids laugh and we play games and read books and have FUN being with each other! money can't buy that kind of happiness! i'm not stupid, money can buy a LOT of things...it can definitely make life easier in some ways, but it complicates life in many other areas.
my point is, i don't think these shows are "wrong"; however, if you have a problem with being satisfied and content, then maybe some of us should shut OFF the tv and spend more time sharing our life with the people or things that make us happy! tv is NOT real. even reality tv is NOT reality!! everythinig is staged and scripted and FAKE!! i think it's risky to have our kids watch these shows unless we as parents follow up with them and help them understand that those people are PAID to play a part. that's it! it's NOT how life really is. until we as parents filter what are kids are watching, who are kids are hanging out with, where are kids are going, and when they will be home, this next generation will be the ruin of america. ALL takers and NO givers! a country can't last long with that mentality. our country wasn't founded on that kind of mentality! Our country would not have been built at all had it not been for men and women who pioneered through thick and thin to get to a land where they could live freely. That required hard work from EVERYONE! i don't know how long this country will last when people would rather be famous than be a good mom or dad, or just a decent human being.
look around you right now. i guarantee you can find 5 people or things that bring you happiness. i'm not talking superficial here. i mean legitimate happiness. Christ and my salvation is number 1! jason, my husband is number 2! my kids are number 3! my church is number 4! and the ocean is number 5!! legitimate happiness. so stop thinking you are a failure. who cares what the world says!! you were made in the image of Christ! you were bought with a price and you are loved more than you could EVER IMAGINE!
so, enjoy all of the shows that you like! i still watch OTH! but i realize it's fake! i realize that my life is real and i'd never trade it for the world!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
When will i STOP learning?
i awoke with a "scare" this morning! have you ever slept through your alarm and all of a sudden, you awake and jump out of bed frantically searching for something (of course, you don't know what because your mind is still sleepily jumbled in a hundred directions); and then just as suddenly, you sit down; take a breath and finally compose yourself? WELCOME to my morning!!:) however, i didn't get to the "sitting down and composing yourself" part, because at the moment i finally realized i was waking up, my sneaky little "lions" came in and yelled "raooar" at me!! and of course, being the ALWAYS loving and tender mom i am (sarcastic!), i quickly silenced them with a "SSHHH" instead of playing along with them and welcoming them with an ever so needed hug! WOW! what can i say? i'm human? i literally was still "sleeping"? i was confused? i mean, is there ANY excuse for my reaction? now, in this day and age, most people would say, "oh monica! you had just woken up! you didn't know they were there! don't be so hard on yourself!" hmm...good point! if i didn't yearn to be the BEST mom ever, then i'm sure i could accept that excuse and move on! however, like i stated in my last post, i feel things to the very darkest and most recess corners of my soul; so please, understand the conflict i find inside myself! most people would dismiss the incident; i most certainly cannot!
ok, enough beating around the bush! let me just be unashamedly honest! after i did "come to my senses" i realized that i was going to snap at them for being out of bed! (i didn't snap at them because i caught myself) again, if you know me, sleep is VERY important in our family! i believe that kids should take naps and have a decent bed time every evening! (obviously there are exceptions to every rule depending on family activities for the day/night) Jay and i have also taught our kids not to get out of bed until mommy or daddy come get them! this morning was a perfect example of WHY we don't want them wandering around the house when everyone else is sleeping! Lord only knows what they could get into!
anyways, back to my point! when will i EVER learn to err on the side of love and compassion instead of "going back to the rule book!" my goodness! i've NEVER been one to follow the rule book! ahh...yet another facet of my personality change since becoming a mom! hmm...personality change?? i have always liked my personality, for the most part! i'm pretty easy going...definitey the definition of "fun" whenever we're hanging out with friends...i'm also very thoughtful and kind. i don't want a personality change! maybe i wouldn't mind so much if i thought the changes were all positive; however, 1 HUGE flaw in my personality that has been THROWN in my face during this whole "motherhood" thing, is how selfish i am in my heart. it never came out very often before kids; now afterwards, when from sun up to sun down my whole world is but not limited to: apple juice, diapers, sippy cups, plastic silverware and spiderman underwear, oh! can't forget Playhouse Disney!! (my favorite show is most definitely handy manny! Mr. Lopart is ridiculous!) i certaintly believe that every kid needs rules, i believe the parents should both be in agreement with and enforce each rule. But, Christ didn't live by a bunch of rules. as a follower of Christ, i should live by the Holy Spirit's guidance. so, i could practically say that, "if i would 'be still and know' more about Christ, I would be more lead by the Holy Spirit to be less selfish when the kids get up 30 minutes early cause the sun comes up early now!" I would be more lead by the Spirit to err on the side of love and compassion, correct??
this whole event probably was 5 seconds from start to finish! and my boys and i have had a GREAT day! ( cambree as well! lol...) We have been on nature hikes today and read a few books as well! we ate Lightning McQueen chicken noodle soup with Ritz crackers for lunch and now they are napping! They probably didn't think anything about my "SHH" this morning! I wonder if my kids will ever know how much time i actually spend loving them in my heart, thinking about them when they sleep, watching them when they play, praying that each of them will accept Christ at a young age, and also, racking my brain and my emotions with how much my attitude and actions will shape and mold their little lives!!! will they EVER fully be able to comprehend this? or is it something in life that everyone has to experience to fully be aware of the endless task and labor of love parenting really is! i know we are all "out of wack" as they used to say. We are living with my parents at this present moment due to the economy and lack of job opportunity. So, yes, as i go about my day, i do try to let grace flow freely off my words and attitude and actions. My kids are just as confused to what God is allowing in our family right now as Jason and i are! I can't expect them to just adapt over night, can i?
so, the title of this post is "when will i STOP learning?". My answer to that is, "i hope i never have to stop learning". the moment i STOP learning is the moment i lose my family.
ok, enough beating around the bush! let me just be unashamedly honest! after i did "come to my senses" i realized that i was going to snap at them for being out of bed! (i didn't snap at them because i caught myself) again, if you know me, sleep is VERY important in our family! i believe that kids should take naps and have a decent bed time every evening! (obviously there are exceptions to every rule depending on family activities for the day/night) Jay and i have also taught our kids not to get out of bed until mommy or daddy come get them! this morning was a perfect example of WHY we don't want them wandering around the house when everyone else is sleeping! Lord only knows what they could get into!
anyways, back to my point! when will i EVER learn to err on the side of love and compassion instead of "going back to the rule book!" my goodness! i've NEVER been one to follow the rule book! ahh...yet another facet of my personality change since becoming a mom! hmm...personality change?? i have always liked my personality, for the most part! i'm pretty easy going...definitey the definition of "fun" whenever we're hanging out with friends...i'm also very thoughtful and kind. i don't want a personality change! maybe i wouldn't mind so much if i thought the changes were all positive; however, 1 HUGE flaw in my personality that has been THROWN in my face during this whole "motherhood" thing, is how selfish i am in my heart. it never came out very often before kids; now afterwards, when from sun up to sun down my whole world is but not limited to: apple juice, diapers, sippy cups, plastic silverware and spiderman underwear, oh! can't forget Playhouse Disney!! (my favorite show is most definitely handy manny! Mr. Lopart is ridiculous!) i certaintly believe that every kid needs rules, i believe the parents should both be in agreement with and enforce each rule. But, Christ didn't live by a bunch of rules. as a follower of Christ, i should live by the Holy Spirit's guidance. so, i could practically say that, "if i would 'be still and know' more about Christ, I would be more lead by the Holy Spirit to be less selfish when the kids get up 30 minutes early cause the sun comes up early now!" I would be more lead by the Spirit to err on the side of love and compassion, correct??
this whole event probably was 5 seconds from start to finish! and my boys and i have had a GREAT day! ( cambree as well! lol...) We have been on nature hikes today and read a few books as well! we ate Lightning McQueen chicken noodle soup with Ritz crackers for lunch and now they are napping! They probably didn't think anything about my "SHH" this morning! I wonder if my kids will ever know how much time i actually spend loving them in my heart, thinking about them when they sleep, watching them when they play, praying that each of them will accept Christ at a young age, and also, racking my brain and my emotions with how much my attitude and actions will shape and mold their little lives!!! will they EVER fully be able to comprehend this? or is it something in life that everyone has to experience to fully be aware of the endless task and labor of love parenting really is! i know we are all "out of wack" as they used to say. We are living with my parents at this present moment due to the economy and lack of job opportunity. So, yes, as i go about my day, i do try to let grace flow freely off my words and attitude and actions. My kids are just as confused to what God is allowing in our family right now as Jason and i are! I can't expect them to just adapt over night, can i?
so, the title of this post is "when will i STOP learning?". My answer to that is, "i hope i never have to stop learning". the moment i STOP learning is the moment i lose my family.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Longings of a Mother's heart
ok, i know that nobody is perfect! But as a mom, i try to be perfect, and my question is....has anyone ever been the PERFECT mom??? if the answer is "no"...which, of course, i'm leaning towards...then why in the world am i so disappointed when i'm not?? these thoughts come into my head quite often! i'm no your "typical" commen sense thinker. I'm emotional and i feel deeply! like...to the VERY core of my being. now, in some ways...this is amazing...but on a negative side...i can never just seem to be happy with being "me". there is so much to learn and so many things to experience! but there is 1 job that cannot be outdone...and that's the job of being a MOMMA!!!
so, i find myself 27 years old, married to a wonderful man, and a mom of 3 babies! i NEVER thought i'd EVER get to this place in my life! Growing up was fun! i remember living it up when i was a senior in highschool! i remember being sooooo undoubtedly ready to graduate and be an "adult"! And then, I remember going to college and having a BLAST, but losing myself in the process! making decisions that would literally change the course of my life forever, and i never thought twice!
I'm a very "in the moment" person...well, at least, i used to be. as a mom, i find myself worrying over that stupid little fire ant that is fumbling it's way over the bumpy pavement to my son's foot; and a myriad of thoughts run through my head! "omg! it's gonna bite Noah!"; "i have to step on that thing before it gets to him"...and blah, blah, blah. I also find myself losing sleep over that 1 little extra blanket cambree wanted to take to bed with her..."what if it gets caught around her little head and she can't get out??"; "but she really wants to sleep with it...hmm...well, i'll stay awake till she falls asleep and then i'll grab it out of her crib." Haha! I mean, what happened to the carefree girl who LIVED (literally) to drive around with the windows down; the music BLARING at the stoplights; and my best friends in the back hanging out the window laughing hysterically!?! I never even noticed ants before! lol...i never cared how many blankets were on the bed! how amazingly different the path of life i have chosen has made me!
Now, don't get me wrong, these changes are the BEST things that have EVER happened to me. These "changes" were so necessary for me to be the BEST possible person i can be! These "changes" are my life....my love...my happiness! These "changes" are my precious angels that DESERVE the PERFECT mom! But for some reason...in God's sovereign will, He placed them in MY so "unperfect" care! the nostalgia that i feel isn't one of regret, but utter and complete disbelief that the Almighty God would think i was "perfect" enough to raise my kids!
so, i find myself 27 years old, married to a wonderful man, and a mom of 3 babies! i NEVER thought i'd EVER get to this place in my life! Growing up was fun! i remember living it up when i was a senior in highschool! i remember being sooooo undoubtedly ready to graduate and be an "adult"! And then, I remember going to college and having a BLAST, but losing myself in the process! making decisions that would literally change the course of my life forever, and i never thought twice!
I'm a very "in the moment" person...well, at least, i used to be. as a mom, i find myself worrying over that stupid little fire ant that is fumbling it's way over the bumpy pavement to my son's foot; and a myriad of thoughts run through my head! "omg! it's gonna bite Noah!"; "i have to step on that thing before it gets to him"...and blah, blah, blah. I also find myself losing sleep over that 1 little extra blanket cambree wanted to take to bed with her..."what if it gets caught around her little head and she can't get out??"; "but she really wants to sleep with it...hmm...well, i'll stay awake till she falls asleep and then i'll grab it out of her crib." Haha! I mean, what happened to the carefree girl who LIVED (literally) to drive around with the windows down; the music BLARING at the stoplights; and my best friends in the back hanging out the window laughing hysterically!?! I never even noticed ants before! lol...i never cared how many blankets were on the bed! how amazingly different the path of life i have chosen has made me!
Now, don't get me wrong, these changes are the BEST things that have EVER happened to me. These "changes" were so necessary for me to be the BEST possible person i can be! These "changes" are my life....my love...my happiness! These "changes" are my precious angels that DESERVE the PERFECT mom! But for some reason...in God's sovereign will, He placed them in MY so "unperfect" care! the nostalgia that i feel isn't one of regret, but utter and complete disbelief that the Almighty God would think i was "perfect" enough to raise my kids!
Say HI to the family!!
Hello Everyone!
so many people have suggested that I start a blog so....here i am starting a blog:) after messing up my password to my gmail account, I guess I'm ready to write! I am so proud of myself because if anyone knows me, they know how "unsavvy" i am with computer stuff! i know, i know...in my generation, I should be able to create a computer by now! alas!! I'm just as clueless as all of our grandparents at this type of thing! lol..
I have 3 beautiful, loveable, spunky, and strong willed children! jason and I are so in love with them that we don't know what to do with ourselves most of the time! These kids are stinking hilarious! I am amazed at the crazy things that come out of their mouths!!
My husband jason is what i would say....AMAZING!! my weaknesses are his strengths and my strengths are his weaknesses!! we compliment each other in a way only God could design! He is a "gentle giant"!! he's 6'4" and i'm 5'2"....haha...(hence the 'giant' part)
Isaac is our first born:) He is 4!!!! i can't believe it! i don't think about it too much because then i find myself sad. In my mind i'm still in our house in Indiana as a brand new bride wondering why "aunt flo" was late!!!!! haha...(i forgot to mention before you started reading that i am WAY honest about everything!) so...before you proceed, please remember that!! ;) ok...anyways...i was talking about....oh yeah!!! finding out i was pregnant with our first child! ok, so I still feel like I am back there at that time, but in reality; i'm sitting our house in Jacksonville and Isaac is 4 years old!
Noah is our 2nd child! he is 2.5!! again...i can't believe it! He's our 2 year old that looks like a 5 year old!! haha;) he takes after daddy in his size!! i love this kid...he is our most strong-willed kid, yet!! whew...noah's birth was a whirlwind!! when he decided to come out...he came out and that was that!! 5 hours total from first contraction to him taking his first breath in the world!! amazingly painful, i might add!!!
then there's Cambree...ahh...my lil' mamasita!! she is 11 months old!! born here in Jacksonville and SUCH a momma's girl!! YAY:):) to be honest, I was scared to have a girl! i prayed for my 1st 2 kids to be boy's, and Praise the Lord, they were;) by the time i was pregnant with Cami, i'd say that "secretly" i wanted a girl, finally, but i was scared to say it out loud for fear that i'd have another boy and then feel guilty over wanting a girl! haha...can we say....HORMONES!!!! but i didn't need to worry, the Lord knew my "secret" and He made that wish come true as well;) Cambree is a totaly joy! Such an easy-going baby. Always a smile, Always dancing to the music! that MY girl;)
Welcome to my family:)
so many people have suggested that I start a blog so....here i am starting a blog:) after messing up my password to my gmail account, I guess I'm ready to write! I am so proud of myself because if anyone knows me, they know how "unsavvy" i am with computer stuff! i know, i know...in my generation, I should be able to create a computer by now! alas!! I'm just as clueless as all of our grandparents at this type of thing! lol..
I have 3 beautiful, loveable, spunky, and strong willed children! jason and I are so in love with them that we don't know what to do with ourselves most of the time! These kids are stinking hilarious! I am amazed at the crazy things that come out of their mouths!!
My husband jason is what i would say....AMAZING!! my weaknesses are his strengths and my strengths are his weaknesses!! we compliment each other in a way only God could design! He is a "gentle giant"!! he's 6'4" and i'm 5'2"....haha...(hence the 'giant' part)
Isaac is our first born:) He is 4!!!! i can't believe it! i don't think about it too much because then i find myself sad. In my mind i'm still in our house in Indiana as a brand new bride wondering why "aunt flo" was late!!!!! haha...(i forgot to mention before you started reading that i am WAY honest about everything!) so...before you proceed, please remember that!! ;) ok...anyways...i was talking about....oh yeah!!! finding out i was pregnant with our first child! ok, so I still feel like I am back there at that time, but in reality; i'm sitting our house in Jacksonville and Isaac is 4 years old!
Noah is our 2nd child! he is 2.5!! again...i can't believe it! He's our 2 year old that looks like a 5 year old!! haha;) he takes after daddy in his size!! i love this kid...he is our most strong-willed kid, yet!! whew...noah's birth was a whirlwind!! when he decided to come out...he came out and that was that!! 5 hours total from first contraction to him taking his first breath in the world!! amazingly painful, i might add!!!
then there's Cambree...ahh...my lil' mamasita!! she is 11 months old!! born here in Jacksonville and SUCH a momma's girl!! YAY:):) to be honest, I was scared to have a girl! i prayed for my 1st 2 kids to be boy's, and Praise the Lord, they were;) by the time i was pregnant with Cami, i'd say that "secretly" i wanted a girl, finally, but i was scared to say it out loud for fear that i'd have another boy and then feel guilty over wanting a girl! haha...can we say....HORMONES!!!! but i didn't need to worry, the Lord knew my "secret" and He made that wish come true as well;) Cambree is a totaly joy! Such an easy-going baby. Always a smile, Always dancing to the music! that MY girl;)
Welcome to my family:)
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